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December 27, 2007

Christmas Recap

My mom flew in the night before Owen's 4th birthday. We had a "baseball" party and it was a good old-fashioned time--musical chairs (where no one gets out), pitch the ball in the strike zone (pin the tail), and eat the donuts off the string with no hands. It was four year old boy bliss. I can really see changes in Owen over the past year and he is no longer the chubby-cheeked little guy, but still just as sweet. But-OH-how I wish he could stay small forever and that I could have back my 18 month Owie for a day. His favorite gift was a remote control bulldozer and a batman car.
Christmas Eve Eve we took cookies to our neighbors which has become a tradition for us. I really think that that one act is a huge boost for the relationships we have with those around us. We have the best neighbors and I am so thankful for them. We know them better and better as time goes on.
Which leads me to say that after lots of hemming and hawing, I think that we are set on staying put here for a few more years for sure.
Christmas morn, Owen was up at 6 and waited VERY PATIENTLY til mommy and daddy, and Caroline were up at 10 to start opening presents. We finished gift-opening at 6:00 PM> that's right--we did it Beigel family style . and made it last all day. It was glorious and none of us got out of our pajamas the whole day. Two new members were added to our family that day--Sotty and Dotty, the goldfish. Grandma and Grandpa Shad pitched in to help fund an aquarium for our kids. It is a lot of fun already and I can see them getting adjusted to life in our home.
here are some pics as they speak volumes:
THE KIDS

THE FAM

THE GIRLS

And the cutest darn elves I've ever seen!


Merry 1st Christmas Beth!

Posted by amy at 11:15 PM | Comments (3)

December 10, 2007

The Smoke has Cleared

I feel like I have been brought a long ways since my last two posts. Last weekend I was at a place where I could not see light at the end of the very long tunnel. My eyes were drawn to the negative. Then I had a "tough-lovin'" kind of talk with my husband who calmly and matter-of-factly said, " You are always trying to fight things." And, crack-crack, shatter-shatter, drop-drop, it was like the scales fell from my eyes. I said, "You're right." That is what I do, and what I have been doing for a LONG time. And when he said it plain as day like that, and I accepted it and agreed, it seemed that the fighting was over, and this deep-seeded (sp?) tension just released from my body and soul. Why was I trying to keep control over poopy-diapers and naptimes and accidental messes? I really don't know--it isn't like anyone but me was keeping score. So all of a sudden my "job" has become tons easier because I don't count it as a defeat when I finally get everyone loaded into the van and realize that I forgot the sippy cups, or that someone needs a diaper change. It was the most real conversation Duffy and I have had in quite a while and it was refreshing to feel like true friends again, and not just two co-workers in the task mill that I had turned our home into. It was good for both of us that I had this eye-opener, because I'm sure he couldn't have lived with me much longer trying to keep the whole family, him included, neat and tidy in my little plans for each day. So when I was driving Owen home from a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's today I had to crank this Sarah Maclachlan song because I felt that it was right on for how I feel about my amazing husband,

"Every time I look at you the world just melts away
All my troubles all my fears dissolve in your affections
You've seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am
And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land

You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
You're all the things that I desire, you save me, you complete me
You're the one true thing I know I can believe

Your love is just the antidote when nothing else will cure me
There are times I cant decide when I cant tell up from down
You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I'd drown
But you pick me up and brush me off and tell me I'm OK
Sometimes thats just what we need to get us through the day"

LOVE that song and the whole CD really.

So, thank you to those of you who offered words of encouragement and WISDOM. I will continue to need those things on this journey, because I know there are at least a million other ways that I am currently blind. The best thing that I learned through this was that I could have this mind and heart-altering realization and make life changes, but still be me. I think that before I was afraid to see because I wouldn't know how to go on as a different person, how to become someone else. But I don't think that is the way it is. I think we can be made aware of flaws and errors in our thinking and living, change it, and still be who we are in our core, just better--which makes accepting and learning lessons a whole lot less scary.

I am back to loving being home with my kids. Here are some recent pics of our little friends.

The Many faces of Caroline and her 'tude.

Posted by amy at 12:00 AM | Comments (1)

December 03, 2007

Figuring It Out (or not)

Beth is 7 weeks old today and I am definitely still in the adjustment period. I had NO idea how cRaZy it would be to have three little ones, all of whom still need their bums wiped by me. It all seemed so manageable when I had either my mother or mother-in-law here to help do all of the household stuff. HA! I did not have a clue what I was in for. Yesterday I had trouble seeing any humor or joy in the week ahead--all I felt was stress stress stress. Stress at the mere thought of trying to get them all dressed and out the door by myself. By the way, we were finally out the door by 11:00 this morning, and this feat took approximately 2 1/2 hours (and yes, I even put their clothes out the night before). The transportation part is the most difficult for me. In and out of the car and making sure everyone has everything they will need while we are out--and then when everyone is ready--actually getting to the car and on the road before someone needs a diaper change or the baby needs to be fed. And yet I still want so badly to keep my house clean, get the laundry done, and to make nutritious home-cooked meals (and to blog, make Christmas cookies, organize the kids' drawers, and write way-overdue thank-you notes). Did I mention that I'd also like to spend some semblance of quality time with the three little people that I live with, and their father too? Currently I am placing hope in my friend Ashlee's mom who is coming over Christmas. She had three children with almost the exact birth span as ours. She also, from what her daughter said, seems to have been able to get it all done-(quality time, clean house, dinners, organization)-so I am hoping to get every last bit of wisdom and advice from her that I can. Just knowing someone else has not only survived, but been "successful" at this gives me strength to keep holding on.
I also have come to a non-scientific conclusion that adding a second child adds to the total energy output somewhere between 50-100%, but that this is not the same for when a third child is added. With three is seems like there is some exponent at work and that the energy and work load for the parental figures does more than add what would be necessary for one child alone. Like the curve is at a steady incline, but when all the sudden there are three-WHAM!_ it shoots straight up. AND, let me add, for the record, that Bethany is the most low-maintenance easy-going child around--and I still find this "formula" to be true. Do you agree?
God must have a special dose of grace for mothers, please Lord, or I am a goner.

Posted by amy at 11:18 PM | Comments (2)