The Deep End

Caroline's Tricks

So I put Caroline into bed about 20 minutes ago, and she just now starts hollerin' "Maaamaa! Mommy! " over and over. I finally go in to see what she wants and this is what I saw:

I'm sure taking pictures only encourages this type of behavior, but it was too cute to pass up. She is definitely our party girl.

Owen's Breakfast Prayer

Just a few minutes ago before eating our Shredded Wheat, Owen offered to pray. He
usually looks around while praying and thanks God for
whatever catches his eye (the trees, the grass,the piano, the
fish, etc.) This morning I told him to try and
close his eyes and think about God in his
heart and thank Him for the things in his life that
he really enjoys. This was his emphatic, heartfelt
prayer:

"Dear God,
PLEASE tell Santa to bring me a real Hot Wheels.
Amen."

He must have some innate God/Santa connection.

Discussion Questions for "The Business of Being Born" movie

Over the past 2 weekends I have viewed the movie "The Business of Being Born" with friends. I searched online for some questions we could use to fuel our post-viewing discussion but could find none. So, I decided to create some of my own. Feel free to use these questions, modify them or add to them. If you find this helpful, please post a comment and let me know. Whatever you do, see this movie and encourage others to do the same. Women deserve to know the truth about childbirth and how amazing the experience can be.

How do you define "natural" childbirth? How do you think doctors may define it?

The "natural" births in the video are all home births. Is it possible for a woman to have this type of birth in a hospital? What is needed to help that to happen?

What in the movie did you find most shocking?

There are two sides to every story. What are some factors that the movie may have overlooked?

Where does the mentioned "so what" attitude that some women have toward childbirth come from?

What are some of the differences you noticed between the "natural" births of the women in the video and the majority of births portrayed elsewhere in the media?

Do you think that a woman's body knows what it is doing in regards to childbirth?

How would you describe the overall atmosphere/scenes of the homebirths shown in the movie? What emotions do you see from the mothers during labor and after the births?

What stereotypes surround a homebirth today?
What stereotypes surround a woman who wants to give birth "naturally" (unmedicated).

What will it take to change the general view of childbirth in our country?

How is having a "natural" unmedicated birth empowering to a woman? How can it be beneficial to her?

Discuss your own birthing experiences. Remember that every birth is special, but that doesn't mean that it was necessarily the experience hoped for. Sharing your experience honestly will help yourself and others.

How can you share the message of this film with others?

7 years

In honor of our 7th anniversary today, I thought I'd share one of our favorite wedding scenes as of late.

The Beach

We have just returned from five days in Hilton Head. We traded in our usual week of spring break oceanside camping for a week in an oceanside villa. We certainly missed our old spot in Florida but it was much easier to have beds and showers for the children, and we also enjoyed a few days of cable. Grandma and Grandpa CaCa met us there so we actually outnumbered the children which always helps. The weather was only beach-worthy two of the days, but we rented bikes and hit the indoor pool. Here are some pictures in the sun and the sand.

and beautiful Beth..

Photo Update

CareBear turned 2 last month, "Baby Bess" is 5 months tomorrow and Oeen (O_W_E_N) is stll independently 4 and testing his limits. This family of five is quickly growing out of this 2 bedroom house so we'll see what the future holds (if you happen to know anyone looking for a solid house close to downtown with a HUGE backyard in a fun neighborhood let us know --dog lovers maybe??) We really just hope we can break even.
I was in NY with the girls this past weekend for my dear friend's wedding--it was BEAUTIFUL--Amy, you were gorgeous! Please call when you return from the honeymoon. My dad was my date and he drove us through ice, sleet, and snow to get there-and I was thoroughly enjoying myself the whole time.
Owen is so funny. Yesterday after preschool we stayed so he could play with the "girl he is going to marry". Then we went to two other playgrounds that afternoon. At each one he discovered a buddy to play with. This is how one overheard conversation went:
Boy: What 's your name?
Owen: Owen
Boy: Orrin?
Owen, No, Owen.
Boy: Olan?
Owen: No, Owen. O-W-E-N. Owen
Boy: C'mon Orlin, let's play hide-and-seek.

Geez.

Caroline is sweet, but is so clingy to me (of course I love it). Everything is "Mommy-do, Mommy-do" We are not answering her every wish, but I think she does get her way more often than Owen did and she is a lot more persistant than he was. The punishments/discipline techniques that worked for Owen are not for her so we are figuring that all out.

Here are some pictures from birthday and NY visit, and Beth's dedication.

The next Punky Brewster??

Quote of the Day

"Poopoo is the frosting on my slice of life."

Uttered after Caroline came out of the bathroom and showed us that she tried to wipe herself.
Thought after Owen didn't make it quite in time.
Remembered after Bethany's daily blowouts.

Very Comforting

I woke up this morning with the Cheers theme song in my head. After singing it over and over, I searched for the real thing. I found the original, but then I found this one that the kids enjoy too. We've been wrestling with whether or not a move back to the northeast would be the right thing for us--after the SNOW in Atlanta yesterday and hearing this song, which could be the anthem for our church and friends here, I just may want to stay. Enjoy the video and sing it right out loud! Pictures of snow are to come.

Christmas Recap

My mom flew in the night before Owen's 4th birthday. We had a "baseball" party and it was a good old-fashioned time--musical chairs (where no one gets out), pitch the ball in the strike zone (pin the tail), and eat the donuts off the string with no hands. It was four year old boy bliss. I can really see changes in Owen over the past year and he is no longer the chubby-cheeked little guy, but still just as sweet. But-OH-how I wish he could stay small forever and that I could have back my 18 month Owie for a day. His favorite gift was a remote control bulldozer and a batman car.
Christmas Eve Eve we took cookies to our neighbors which has become a tradition for us. I really think that that one act is a huge boost for the relationships we have with those around us. We have the best neighbors and I am so thankful for them. We know them better and better as time goes on.
Which leads me to say that after lots of hemming and hawing, I think that we are set on staying put here for a few more years for sure.
Christmas morn, Owen was up at 6 and waited VERY PATIENTLY til mommy and daddy, and Caroline were up at 10 to start opening presents. We finished gift-opening at 6:00 PM> that's right--we did it Beigel family style . and made it last all day. It was glorious and none of us got out of our pajamas the whole day. Two new members were added to our family that day--Sotty and Dotty, the goldfish. Grandma and Grandpa Shad pitched in to help fund an aquarium for our kids. It is a lot of fun already and I can see them getting adjusted to life in our home.
here are some pics as they speak volumes:
THE KIDS

THE FAM

THE GIRLS

And the cutest darn elves I've ever seen!

Merry 1st Christmas Beth!

The Smoke has Cleared

I feel like I have been brought a long ways since my last two posts. Last weekend I was at a place where I could not see light at the end of the very long tunnel. My eyes were drawn to the negative. Then I had a "tough-lovin'" kind of talk with my husband who calmly and matter-of-factly said, " You are always trying to fight things." And, crack-crack, shatter-shatter, drop-drop, it was like the scales fell from my eyes. I said, "You're right." That is what I do, and what I have been doing for a LONG time. And when he said it plain as day like that, and I accepted it and agreed, it seemed that the fighting was over, and this deep-seeded (sp?) tension just released from my body and soul. Why was I trying to keep control over poopy-diapers and naptimes and accidental messes? I really don't know--it isn't like anyone but me was keeping score. So all of a sudden my "job" has become tons easier because I don't count it as a defeat when I finally get everyone loaded into the van and realize that I forgot the sippy cups, or that someone needs a diaper change. It was the most real conversation Duffy and I have had in quite a while and it was refreshing to feel like true friends again, and not just two co-workers in the task mill that I had turned our home into. It was good for both of us that I had this eye-opener, because I'm sure he couldn't have lived with me much longer trying to keep the whole family, him included, neat and tidy in my little plans for each day. So when I was driving Owen home from a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's today I had to crank this Sarah Maclachlan song because I felt that it was right on for how I feel about my amazing husband,

"Every time I look at you the world just melts away
All my troubles all my fears dissolve in your affections
You've seen me at my weakest but you take me as I am
And when I fall you offer me a softer place to land

You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
You're all the things that I desire, you save me, you complete me
You're the one true thing I know I can believe

Your love is just the antidote when nothing else will cure me
There are times I cant decide when I cant tell up from down
You make me feel less crazy when otherwise I'd drown
But you pick me up and brush me off and tell me I'm OK
Sometimes thats just what we need to get us through the day"

LOVE that song and the whole CD really.

So, thank you to those of you who offered words of encouragement and WISDOM. I will continue to need those things on this journey, because I know there are at least a million other ways that I am currently blind. The best thing that I learned through this was that I could have this mind and heart-altering realization and make life changes, but still be me. I think that before I was afraid to see because I wouldn't know how to go on as a different person, how to become someone else. But I don't think that is the way it is. I think we can be made aware of flaws and errors in our thinking and living, change it, and still be who we are in our core, just better--which makes accepting and learning lessons a whole lot less scary.

I am back to loving being home with my kids. Here are some recent pics of our little friends.

The Many faces of Caroline and her 'tude.

Figuring It Out (or not)

Beth is 7 weeks old today and I am definitely still in the adjustment period. I had NO idea how cRaZy it would be to have three little ones, all of whom still need their bums wiped by me. It all seemed so manageable when I had either my mother or mother-in-law here to help do all of the household stuff. HA! I did not have a clue what I was in for. Yesterday I had trouble seeing any humor or joy in the week ahead--all I felt was stress stress stress. Stress at the mere thought of trying to get them all dressed and out the door by myself. By the way, we were finally out the door by 11:00 this morning, and this feat took approximately 2 1/2 hours (and yes, I even put their clothes out the night before). The transportation part is the most difficult for me. In and out of the car and making sure everyone has everything they will need while we are out--and then when everyone is ready--actually getting to the car and on the road before someone needs a diaper change or the baby needs to be fed. And yet I still want so badly to keep my house clean, get the laundry done, and to make nutritious home-cooked meals (and to blog, make Christmas cookies, organize the kids' drawers, and write way-overdue thank-you notes). Did I mention that I'd also like to spend some semblance of quality time with the three little people that I live with, and their father too? Currently I am placing hope in my friend Ashlee's mom who is coming over Christmas. She had three children with almost the exact birth span as ours. She also, from what her daughter said, seems to have been able to get it all done-(quality time, clean house, dinners, organization)-so I am hoping to get every last bit of wisdom and advice from her that I can. Just knowing someone else has not only survived, but been "successful" at this gives me strength to keep holding on.
I also have come to a non-scientific conclusion that adding a second child adds to the total energy output somewhere between 50-100%, but that this is not the same for when a third child is added. With three is seems like there is some exponent at work and that the energy and work load for the parental figures does more than add what would be necessary for one child alone. Like the curve is at a steady incline, but when all the sudden there are three-WHAM!_ it shoots straight up. AND, let me add, for the record, that Bethany is the most low-maintenance easy-going child around--and I still find this "formula" to be true. Do you agree?
God must have a special dose of grace for mothers, please Lord, or I am a goner.

I'm Back

Well, well. Yes, I am still here and there is so much I could write about that it is hard to know what to choose tonight. Here are the choices in my head: how awesome "natural" childbirth was, sharing about our lovely new daughter Bethany, my crazy new "jobs" that have divine fingerprints all over them, how psyched I am about my dearest friend's engagement and the love in her life, deciding what to do next year and the possibility of teaching again, how I feel that I am always about to go off the deep end by trying to handle three children under the age of four, that I am feeling increasingly pulled to writing, or that Bethany was airlifted to a children's hospital this past weekend. Whew! Just getting those topics out of my head is a relief and I almost feel that I could stop now, but that wouldn't be much of a comeback to the blogosphere I suppose.
Following the lead of media, I'll go with the story that has the most drama. Bethany Airlifted to Children's Hospital. What a ridiculous story really. Once upon a time, there was a daddy who worked in a germ-infested elementary school. He got sick (surprise, surprise). His son got sick. Then his daughter #1. Daughter #1 sucked on a pacifier and then inserted it into the mouth of newborn daughter #2. Newborn daughter gets sick too. In Beth it started with just a runny nose, then congestion, then a cough that made our friends tease her to lay off the cigarettes. On Thanksgiving I spoke with the doctor about her and explained that we were going to the mountains for a few days. The doctor thought we'd be fine. Two days later, the cough is still just as bad and she is obviously laboring more than usual to breathe so I spoke with the doctor again. She thought we'd be fine. That night at 2am, Beth was just about gagging on her mucus and I was worn out from wondering if we should have her seen or not. I thought, "How bad does it have to get before we go to the hospital--till she can't breathe at all?" So I woke Duff and said we were going to the ER. Our friends were fine to cover the other two while we were gone--I said, "I'm sure we'll be back by morning." The closest place was a medical "plaza" of sorts. Beth was the only patient in the "ER" so she got full attention. The folks there were great but I felt they were a bit extreme in their measures. Her saturation levels werent' staying quite as high as they would have liked after several breathing treatments and a shot of steroids, so they called an ambulance to take her to the nearest hospital with a pediatric unit. This ended up being TC Thompson Children's Hospital in Chattanooga, TN. The doctors did not think the hour and a half drive was fast enough so they called in the medical helicopter to airlift her there. The weather was too poor for the copter to land where we were, so I rode with little Beth in the ambulance to a rendezvous point to meet it. I thought this all was so over-protective and asked if she would be fine till we got back to Atlanta the next day--but they wouldn't hear of it. Basically, my baby was held hostage by the medical system. They werent' going to let me have her back if I wanted to. Thank goodness Duffy was there as the buffer zone, cause my momma bear was definitely emerging (especially when they mentioned possibly intubating her-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intubation-I would've taken her and ran). In a way I was glad that we were being switched to someplace that knew how to handle little ones, because I wasn't too confident after the specialist at the "ER" tried convincing me of how poorly she was doing by telling me to look and see how limp and weak she was ---hello! She is only 6 weeks old!
So after a nauseating 30-minute ambulance ride (they had me strapped to the gurney holding Beth), we had to kiss her goodbye and watch her fly up into the sky. I could not go in the holicopter with her. This was by far the hardest part. I knew her health would be fine--I wasn't worried about that--but just watching her go up, up, up, was about all I could take. Then as Duffy and I headed to Chattanooga we could see this speck of light in the dark night sky that was our little baby. I watched that light get smaller and smaller, and farther and farther away for at least 15-20 minutes. Again, Duffy helped to keep me together by telling me to just not think about it because it would be too much. We rode silently for the hour long trip to the hospital.
Bethany was admitted and put on oxygen and an IV. Her lungs were clear and she tested negative for RSV. The diagnosis was Bronchiolitis, which is basically a cold in a small baby that causes their smaller airways to swell and become blocked with mucus. They suctioned her out A LOT and taught me how to do the same. I kind of liked being in the hospital and the peace and quiet (because I knew she would be FINE), and it was nice having my meals cooked and delivered. We stayed all day Sunday and were discharged Monday afternoon. She is now doing much better--and (hallelujah) has slept through the night the past 3 nights in a row. I'm sure that will end tonight solely because I have decided to stay up late to blog.
This experience was quite an ordeal. I'm still not sure how to feel about it. Since I knew she was going to be fine it didn't worry me much. I thought a lot about the medical system, the protocol, and how it wouldn't hurt to add a little more common sense to the mix. As we were in the ambulance I felt a tinge of guilt because I thought "what if someone else has a real emergency and this ambulance isn't available?". Even once we got to the hospital some of the nurses said they weren't really sure why they airlifted her (yeah, me neither), but everyone did confirm that it was the right thing to do to bring her in---maybe just minus the bells and whistles. There is good in every story and this one is no exception. I won't ever forget being in the children's hospital and will hopefully volunteer at one someday to spread some cheer that was shared with us. Also we were able to connect with some friends of friends who showed Duffy and Caroline hospitality overnight, and saved them from a cheap hotel room. We ended up loving Chattanooga and the cool little city that it is. And finally, I have bought a lot of hand sanitizer and plan to use it often.

A Happier and Healthier Baby:

What NOT to say to a woman who gave birth a week ago

From a neighbor as I was walking to my mailbox,
"This last pregnancy really put some weight on ya, huh?"

And I was thinking that I wasn't doing too bad.

Our newest pumpkin

Bethany Frances arrived on October 15th at 1:09 am. She is doing well and is adjusting to life in this family of ours. I am thrilled to have finally "gone natural" as this was what we think will be the third and final installment to our clan, at least coming from my womb. I am thankful for the way it worked out, and I'm still pondering it all and don't feel quite ready to put it into words. Grandma CaCa has been here for the last week and has been a tremendous help around the house and has eased the transition to having three. Now I am a lone ranger for two weeks until the next Grandma arrives so we'll see how it goes. Of course, I won't really be alone--church is covering our dinners for almost the next 2 weeks and some neighbors have offered to take Owen for playdates on the preschool off days.

Here are some pictures of our pumpkins with their pumpkins.

Weekend Away & Pregnancy Pics

First of all, THANK YOU to all of you who so enthusiastically encouraged us to take the weekend away. After deciding to do it, I looked forward to it so much, and kept thinking that it was the only reason that I didn't want this baby to make an early appearance. Our friends came through in a big way and covered the weekend for us and showed our munchkins a great time. When I told Owen that we were going away he asked if we were going for a long time. I said, "No, not too long," (thinking that was the answer he was hoping for), to which he said, " I want it to be a long long time." Okey dokey--yeah, needless the say the kids didn't have any problems with us leaving. I guess Caroline would randomly say "Mommy?" "Daddy?" but then just started calling KK and Jeff Mommy and Daddy. How could she move on so easily? (Boo-hoo).
We headed out about 3:00 on Friday and truly realized how much we needed the time to ourselves the second we stepped into "our room" at the B+B (www.hiddenvalleybandb.com). This was our fifth visit, and it is even possible that Caroline is a B+B baby ;). We ate out, hiked Brasstown Bald (which is the highest peak in Georgia), took a big afternoon nap, played a couple of rounds of late-night Scrabble, and went on some nice walks (for me) and jogs (for Duff). By Sunday, we were ready to head back to our little ones and be parents again. I had my ritual "a big change is coming" cry a few minutes before our departure, and now this baby is welcome to come anytime.
Here are some long-awaited pregnancy pics. Officially there are 2 weeks to go.